What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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