Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
