So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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