he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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