you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize