So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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