I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
