so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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