What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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