Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
