Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
