Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
