did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
