So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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