this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I believe in your delicious
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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