respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
