guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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