Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
