if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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