I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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