12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
