This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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