i think my tv is drunk
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
