oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
