she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Of course I have a pirate flag
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
