Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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