I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
