honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
