You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
