If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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