you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize