just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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