He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
All the doctor said was why
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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