Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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