Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
