I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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