i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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