hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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