haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
