please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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