well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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