he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
