my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
