I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize