I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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