The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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