Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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