Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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