She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
