i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
