My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
