I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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