i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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