I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
