The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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