i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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