so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
