I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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