Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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