I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize