My nipple is on Facebook.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
