Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
